Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Sadness and fear have overtaken my emotions today. My family who has been here since Sunday said goodbye tonight because they leave for Memphis early in the morning to fly home. Julia and I have been close since we were little girls and I love her like a sister. Her husband is not in the best of health, her mother is almost 91 and in a retirement home, but she left them to come see about me. Her youngest brother and his wife came too--if fact, he made all the arrangements for the trip. The minute they arrived at the nursing home, I relaxed. The power of their presence has helped so much! We were able to enjoy some good family time with Tommy, Liz and children and thought we might have to pack Meredith up and send them home with my cousin Snookie. I hated to say goodbye to them!!

Tom moved to a new room this morning in order to accommodate a husband and wife couple who wanted to share a room. He agreed to move because he knew how we would want the same consideration. He has a nice man for a roommate and I think they will get along well. This was another "tired day" for him and he slept a good bit of the afternoon after coming from therapy. He looks so weak and just plain sick. I'm afraid he'll never leave where he is. One day he was pushing, trying to do his out patient therapy so he'd improve his strength, we were looking forward to Christmas with grandchildren, and the next day he is a very sick man. I never know what to expect when I arrive at the nursing home. This morning he was a little testy with me for a few minutes because he didn't think I had been there in two days and he had been looking for me. I am sad to be alone again, sad about losing Tom and fearful that it could be soon.

Our weather is bitterly cold and snow is predicted after midnight tomorrow and through Thursday. We begin Wednesday suppers and program at 1st Presbyterian, Humboldt this week and I'm beginning officer training. I'm hoping any precipitation will hold off until we finish up tomorrow night and I'm home. If the streets and roads are bad Thursday and Friday, I may get in some extra sleep. That could help put a different perspective on both my sadness and my fear.

Pastor Margaret

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