A Day of Reflection . . .

Forty four years ago today, I married the love of my life. He was my closest friend, my lover, my soul mate and my partner in every sense of the word. We had a six year "semi courtship," more off that on, partly because nearly three years of that time he was in Munich, Germany and I was stateside. We often laughed, remembering that I wrote him while he was there because I considered it my duty as an American citizen. When we did make a decision to marry we had no doubt but that it was God's plan, executed in God's time. Both of us were headstrong and it took some doing for us to learn to live together. Years passed, our love grew and neither of us could even imagine life with anyone else.

Two particular things helped to strengthen an already strong marriage. About twenty years ago I was introduced to a booklet by Ben Johnson entitled, An Adventure in Prayer. It was written to help people learn to pray more specifically and offered suggestions to guide your prayer life for thirty days. One of the suggestions was to remember the vows you have taken and recommit them to God. To the vows he suggested, I added baptismal and marriage vows. I began to meditate/pray about what I promised before God and to Tom on the day we married. I was particularly struck by the promises to love and honor him. Of course, I loved him, but how could I love him more? I asked God to put more love in my heart for Tom. What did it truly mean to honor my husband and how did that manifest itself? My eyes were opened to things I did and said that were not loving, nor honoring and I prayed for God to change me.

The second thing that made a difference, even after twenty plus years was a conversation I had with my son. He reminded me of words said to him and Elizabeth by Joe Rightmyer, the pastor who married them. (Joe is our friend who officiated at Tom's graveside and memorial services.) He encouraged them to cherish one another. That prompted me to ponder the word "cherish" and to think about how that works in a relationship. Often I would tell Tom, "I love you more today than yesterday and less than I will tomorrow." As I reflect on our life together, I know that remains true.

Today could have been a really sad day, but every time I felt myself getting sad, I would think of Meredith and her telling me that Paw Paw is in my heart. How right she is! I can no longer reach out and touch him. I realize, with great reluctance, a word I use often to describe other women, now describes me too. I am a widow. I had to get past today and with the help of my children I did. Tommy went with me to Corinth. Tonight he, Liz and I went out to eat and Marty called when I got home. They warmed my heart, made me laugh and cry. We talked about memories and we looked ahead. Tomorrow is a new day.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Saturday

We said our final goodbye to Tom on Saturday---or did we? Friends and family gathered at the graveside Saturday morning for the interment. It was a beautiful day, between 50 and 60 degrees, with the sun brightly shining. The minister, our friend Joe Rightmyer, spoke of hope, new life and the resurrection. Tom was buried with military honors and seeing that flag draped casket brought tears of pride to my eyes, as did the words of appreciation spoken to me by the young man from the Army as he presented the flag to me. Our grandchildren each took a yellow rose from me and laid it on the casket. Precious Meredith, held by her father, placed hers and said, "Goodbye Paw Paw." It was a dear moment.

The memorial service that afternoon was truly a witness to the resurrection and an uplifting worship service. It was everything Tom and I wanted it to be! Again, Joe's message was one that presented the gospel and gave glory to God. Special music was a jazzy arrangement of Amazing Grace, written and performed on clarinet by Marty's friend and major professor in college. The recessional was another arrangement of his for organ and clarinet for When the Saints Go Marching In." Both Joe's message of truth, hope and promise and the music put a smile on my face. In every way God was glorified.

Many friends came, offered condolences and shared memories. Each one was special and each has helped with the grieving process. We felt truly blessed by their presence.

There were a few things that could have marred the perfect day and weekend. Instead they reminded us that life goes on. Friday, Tommy, Jacob, Sarah and I left in one car and Marty, Kevin and the boys in another. Liz planned to drive down later in the day with a friend and the three other children. When they were all loaded, in the car and ready to leave, her car would not start. She called Tommy while we were eating lunch in Jackson, MS and he talked the friend through the directions to jump a battery. Saturday there was silence during the time "Taps" was to be played. We waited expectantly and watched as the soldier put his horn in the case and came to help fold the flag. The horn malfunctioned. And before we could leave the cemetery, Tommy and David, Tom's brother, had to change a tire on his rental car. We laughed, thinking of comments Tom, Jr. would have made.

The bottom line: the services honored a special man and gave glory to his God. I am blessed to have shared my life with that special man and he will always be in my heart.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Plans

For those of you who have known Tom--always "Tommy" to me--it should come as no surprise that many plans for what would happen at the end of both of our lives were already documented. I am so thankful for that! An otherwise hard process of going through details of burial yesterday was made much easier by knowing what he wanted, what I wanted for him and the support and input of Tommy and Marty. Today I have a few errands, a few more phone calls to make and then plan to enjoy being with family.

There will be a graveside service at Lakewood Memorial Park at 11 a.m. Saturday, February 12, with the memorial service at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 4000 Ridgewood Rd. , Jackson, MS following at 2 p.m. Visitation will be after the service in the church parlor.

Thank you for the many expressions of sympathy, prayer support and the shared memories of Tom and how he touched your lives. I have always said that he, more than any other man I knew, was the man of Psalm 15.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

A New Body . . . Safe in the Arms of Jesus

The dreaded day, the day for which I have hoped and prayed finally was today. Tom passed very peacefully about four this afternoon. The last several days I have sat by his bed, holding his hand, talking, telling him what's in the news, reading psalms, praying, singing. He has shown no real response since Thursday except for grimacing when he hurt, or having Parkinson type tics because he's not had any meds. One exception: the nurses have been swabbing his mouth with a special mouthwash several times a day and yesterday he wouldn't open his mouth. The nurse said for me to try if I saw an opening anytime during the day. He was like a little boy refusing to take his medicine, clinching his teeth together so I couldn't possibly get anything past his lips.

This morning I drove to the hospital in the most beautiful snow. The flakes were big and fluffy and fell for six or seven hours. In the South, that means people stay home, off the streets. That is, we stay home after we have raided the store shelves of bread, milk, eggs and other essentials. Shopping during one of these grocery store runs can be dangerous to one's health. Anyway, no one came by the room today except the usual hospital staff and two hospice workers about noon. Tom and I were all alone in our little room and I could focus my whole attention on him. It was such a gift to have a day to ourselves. The middle of the afternoon I stretched out on the little sofa, telling him I was right there by him and needed to close my eyes for a few minutes. When I woke up after about 20 minutes, he had quit breathing. I wasn't holding his hand as I had wanted to be, but we were together.

The most beautiful statement was made to me by my precious five year old granddaughter. I went to Tommy's so I could tell the grandchildren about their Paw Paw. After I told them, Meredith crawled up in my lap and said, "Please don't be sad and cry, Maw Maw. Paw Paw's in your heart."

Memorial services will be held later this week or early next (depending on winter weather advisories) at Covenant Presbyterian in Jackson, MS. More about that later.

My love and God's blessings,
Pastor Margaret

From my heart . . .

Marty and the bolys left early this morning to go with Tommy to Jacob's honors' band concert in Memphis. It is quiet in my house--almost too quiet.

Last night I was dull from exhaustion, tired of the ups and downs, the endless decisions. Since February 18, forty four years ago, I have discussed almost everything with Tom. He's the wise one. He's the one who always reminds me of the One who shows us the way. I don't function well without him. I dread going to the hospital to see him wasting away; I look up and see him sitting aross the room, asking "Can I get you anything?"

Hospital staff have commented about his manners. Even when his speech was difficult to understand, they could hear him express his gratidude for their help. He never let a CNA leave after giving him a bath without telling her "Thank you." One day he apologized to some friends who had been in for a visit saying, "Excuse me for not getting up." Always the gentleman! Mom would be so proud--she taught him well.

When sleep doesn't come I think of things I must do or the memories Tom and I have shared. Two nights ago the thought stuck me that waiting and walking this journey with him is not so unlike the days leading up to Vietnam. Since the moment of "I do," we knew deployment was around the corner. At first we went on with daily preparations. He reported really early to the base for more training while I stayed home and dyed his underwear green. We tried to live in the moment, but war was raging and he was on his way. The past several years, we have lived in the moment, caring for one another, just enjoying being together, knowing that one of us would get orders sooner than the other. Tom's orders came for Vietnam and we knew exactly when he would go. Today it's as if Tom's orders came when he fell four weeks ago, even though at first I thought he would recover from the surgery. Now it is different; he has his orders, but we cannot know when he will pass. I walked those days before he left for war in dread, hating to see the sun go down because it brought us one day closer to departure. These are walked much the same way. The day he boarded the plane I stood and watched with what Mom and Dad described as crocodile tears streaming down my face. I was at a loss for words, fearing that I would never see him again. How different today! I know that I will see him again and that he will be free of all infirmities, free of pain. He will be waiting in our heavenly home.

That Vietnam year taught me two valuable lessons. 1) I learned from living with Mom and Dad Suttle what it really meant to be a family. They loved me as a real daughter, not just as Tom's wife. Dad said after the year was over that as hard as the year was, we had a wonderful time--and we did. 2) The Lamentations 2 verses became the starting point of every day and have continued to be firmly rooted in my life: It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed.
They are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness!

In the midst of our deepest sorrow, no matter what, God is faithful. To God be the glory!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

The Week in Review . . .

Marty and her boys came Monday afternoon--just ahead of the rain, the dropping temperatures and the winter storm advisory. All three survived the long trip better than I thought they might. I have been so glad to have her with me and to have some activity in the house. Christopher and Colin have loved playing with cousins and it's been fun to watch them together. Tom knew Marty when she went to see him Tuesday and said her name. Since then there has been a steady decline in his condition.

Tom has not eaten since late Tuesday, nor has he had noticeable hydration since Wednesday. He only has had moisture from the swabs they use to clean his mouth and tongue. Swallowing has become a major problem. Until today he would try to say something in response to questions asked him, but now he has quit trying to even form words with his lips. He needs pain medication to be comfortable and that sedates him. The journey for him is difficult. Still, we
watch and wait, assuring him of our love, talking about special memories.

Yesterday the social worker on our hospice team came by the room. I had not met her previously. Frankly, I thought she talked too much. She began her endless chatter by explaining the death process to me, then proceeding to tell me what I need to do for myself. From there she went on to tell me how people with terminal illnesses feel, giving me pointers on how to respond to them. All the time, I'm thinking: "What ever happened to the art of listening?" I had to remind myself that she didn't know either of us; she didn't know our history; she didn't know our faith and unless she stopped talking, she never would. When I had had enough, I told her that I understood terminal illness because I had one myself and that Tom and I determined at the onset that we would live and that we would care for one another. What's more Tom had actually thanked God for the Parkinson's, praying that God would be glorified in his illness. Fortunately, she's the exception on the team, not the rule.

Today I went for an Avastin infusion in Corinth. Because I have two unexplained sores under my left arm, I promised Marty that I would have the nurse look at them. They just happen to be on the side where the lymph nodes were removed almost thirty years ago. Long story short: until two nurses and the doctor took a look, they would not treat me. Avastin slows down healing and I could choose to stop treatment for two months or could continue how I was treating the sores and be patient. I chose to keep the Avastin on schedule and be patient. After over an hour delay I received the treatment. What a day!

To add to everything else, the case manager told Marty today that Medicare will start pressuring us to find another place for Tom after two weeks--one has already passed. I don't think Tom would survive a move. Honestly, I'm too tired, too numb to think about that today. Jesus tells us to Be anxious for nothing, so I will not. Every day, in every way God is faithful to His promises. I will not be anxious and I will trust God to make the right decision when the time comes.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Weariness and Strength

They are at opposite ends of the spectrum. More times than not waves of wearniness overcome me. I'm sitting, perfectly still and quiet, like a peaceful deserted beach when a wave of wearniness rolls over me as the tide overtaking the beach. I wonder how I can walk to the car, much less get up and repeat this tiring process another day. I come home to a messy house, dropping mail, my purse and coat wherever there's an empty spot. The Christmas wreath is still on the front, Christmas dishes are stacked on the dining room table waiting to be put away, the morning coffee mug sits on the counter. I remember. Major on the majors. There is so much to do and I'm torn between being at the hospital with Tom, keeping up with daily chores like laundry, bills, etc. and resting. Yesterday, late in the afternoon, just when I thought I'd scream if Tom called me one more time, I heard a voice in my head say, My strength is made perfect in your weakness. (Tom calls my name, sometimes because he just wants to know I'm there, sometimes to tell me something. His speech has deteriorated so that I have to get in his face and strain to understand what he's saying. It's frustrating for us both.) God's word came through and I knew I was trying too much on my own. I have to rely on God's strength.

So, this morning, after a good night's sleep I'm ready to shower, dress and head to the hospital.
I've had a cup of tea--simply because my coffee pot won't come on again--Tommy's already fixed it once--I'll fix myself breakfast and swallow one last pill. When I come home tonight I'll think about chores. Marty and her boys are coming Tuesday and if the remaining Christmas boxes are not taken to the attic, they'll have nowhere to sleep.

I have begun the oral chemo regimen. The first day I took the capsule, I got nauseated late in the day. Though I hate to take them, I took a pill for nausea. The next day I had to force myself to take that day's capsule because I didn't want to repeat the nausea. So far the extreme fatigue and shortness of breath have not returned. We are praying that once a day will be kinder to my body than an infusion every two weeks. God's strength is a must.

Yesterday was a beautiful day--sunshine and mid-sixties. The best part was the visit of two Mississippi friends. Tom was so glad to see them and really perked up when he heard their voices and saw them. Our sitter stayed with him while we went out to lunch together. Of course, there was much talk about Tom, etc., but also there was talk of children, grandchildren, things "back home" and shared memories. Their visit made the day--or the week--or month. It was a blessing, indeed!

Thank you, faithful friends, for keeping up and for your prayers.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

A New Room . . . is what Tom knows about where he is now. Actually, we don't know what he knows about his condition. He asked once yesterday afternoon where he is and when I said that he is in the hospital and had been there three weeks he said nothing. Today someone asked how he fell and again, there didn't seem to be any recognition of what has happened to him. Yesterday he was about as alert as he gets; today not so much. He told me when I arrived that it was harder for him to talk today. This afternoon he asked for pain meds, he was given morphine and finally settled down and slept. I ran two necessary errands and came home by 5:30.

Throw away what you think you know about Hospice Care unless you've had to admit a loved one. In the years I was blessed to be a part of Older Adult Ministry I could spew a lot of information. In the last several years the realities of growing older and living with chronic illnesses have invaded our lives. I remember talking to groups about the difficulty of giving up measures of independence and then how difficult it was to cope with Tom's reaction to the news that he could no longer drive. I have had to learn what to say "no" to and what was allowable, though the consequences might mean more work for me. But, I digress.

The Hospice team was wonderful today as they came, one by one, to introduce themselves, to ask questions, to see if we had any and to get to know both Tom and me. We were treated like people, not the patient in 989. At some time during the day I met all except one member of the team assigned to Tom. Only the chaplain was absent. I almost wept as I watched two aides give Tom a bath and change his linen. They encouraged and affirmed him and treated him with such tenderness. What a comfort to both patient and family members!

As many times as I have visited and prayed with terminally ill people and their families, it has been difficult to pray over my own husband and commit him to the Lord completely. Isn't he my husband? Don't I take better care of him than anyone else? I have promised to care for him in sickness and in health. It's a control thing that goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. To others I have recommended giving their loved one permission to let go. I have not been able to do that with Tom. He has always been such a fighter and I don't want him to think I have "given up" on him. The Hospice case manager helped me with that. After our conversation, I thought: "What's wrong with you? You and Tom have always trusted God with your lives and sought His wisdom and guidance. You need to do that now." We not only have hope, we have the one who is Hope!" I have been studying the book of Revelation as I sit with Tom and realized as never before what a beautiful picture of hope it paints. God continues to guide with His Word. He will give me the words I need to say.

One last thing. No matter how old you are, no matter whether you are married or single, do not pass "go" until you have an Advanced Directive for Health Care in place. Simple forms are available on-line and other places, or you can expand on the form and state your specific wishes. Name someone as your power of attorney who knows your wishes and who will see to it that they are executed. Such a document is a priceless gift for those who love you!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

The Tough Decision . . .

Since I last posted Tom's condition has continued to change--to the point that yesterday Tommy and I both looked at him and knew something was different. He doesn't do anything but sleep and his eyes are vacant. I was told by the neurologist that there wasn't much about Tom that is reversible--definitely hard to hear, but not totally unexpected. Our observation plus counsel from two doctors led us to ask for the paliative care team to evaluate and advise. We met with them this afternoon. Their recommendation is to move Tom to the hospice area on the oncology floor. I said the decision was tough, but it was made easier by having Tom's wishes documented in his Advance Directive. We called Marty for her input, she concurred, so tomorrow I do necessary paperwork to have him moved. If he stabilizes or if by some miracle, he improves we can bring him home which is what he prefers. I don't expect that to happen.

Last night Tommy and I had a serious, frank "discussion" with Tom. Who knows what he comprehended? After Tommy finished assuring his dad that he would care for me and how much he loved him, Tom says, "I'd like to go to the kitchen for some cookies." Of course, he was hard to understand, but he knew what he wanted! Next, we prayed for him, asking for God's healing and for God to come quickly. I spent the night because I couldn't bear to leave him. He has slept most of today and showed no expression when I kissed him goodbye and said I was coming home.

Fortunately, I don't believe Tom knows the seriousness of his condition. He may not even know he's in the hospital. He surely doesn't know that he's been there three weeks. Your prayers and concern, your FB messages, e-mails, cards and calls have sustained us. I am so grateful! We know that Tom is safe in the arms of Jesus and that he will have a new body and a new mind when God calls him home. How I'll miss him!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

A song comes to mind . . .

But, I can't think of its name. Remember? First you say you will and then you won't; then you say you do and you don't? These vague words are so descriptive of Tom's situation and, for that matter, the words and advice I'm hearing from doctors. We are fortunate with really good, caring doctors, but it's as if they are so focused on their own specialties that don't they know how the whole works together--or not.

For instance, I saw the neurologist this morning and he is not optimistic about much recovery. He sees the Parkinson's, knows how it has progressed in Tom since first meeting him in 2007 and knows from both a professional and a personal view how Parkinson's affects everything else. Before I arrived this morning, the infectious disease doctor came, saw that the white count had started going up again, so ordered a chest x-ray. I didn't know about the white count and was surprised to see the x-ray techs arrive this afternoon. Still later in the afternoon the medical doctor came and was encouraging about the small improvement steps. He spent several minutes telling Tom how important it is for him to eat to get his strength back. Maybe Monday I will talk to the social worker about discharge plans. Maybe I will and maybe I won't.

I won't go into the practically nonexistent care of today. My mother was a nurse and I know how demanding their jobs can be. However, I was not at all satisfied with today's lack of care and concern for Tom! Nuff said.

My treatment began again yesterday or the Avastin part of it did. The insurance company approved my taking the chemo drug in capsule form once a day. I'll begin that regimen when they arrive by mail the middle of next week. Our hope is that I will respond more positively taking small daily doses than an infusion every two weeks. Even after two months off, my red counts are still low. God has provided the energy I've needed these last weeks; it definitely didn't come through a good red count!

I covet your prayers for patience and that I might bear the image of Christ as I interact with all the medical personnel.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Gradual Improvement . . . But

What does it mean? The infectious disease doctor said this morning that the white count continues coming down. The infections(?) are better and more tests are ordered for tomorrow. In the early morning Tom removed the nasal tube. We don't really know if it was a conscious act or what, but that meant no means to give him nutrition or Parkinson's meds--not good. The bedside swallow test was "borderline," meaning it had to be repeated in x-ray and when I left at five, there were still no results, leaving us to wonder if needed to have the tube reinserted. Between two and three the nurse called someone to see if she could crush his meds, put them in applesauce and administer. As soon as they were in his system he relaxed and went to sleep.

A little after noon I began to watch snow flakes outside our window. I drove home in what appeared to be a winter wonderland. The trees were beautiful and there were few signs of people walking or driving in the snow. There was only one set of tire tracks on my street. TV reports that the storm is moving on East, but with temperatures in the teens tonight, the streets will be icy in the morning. I'm supposed to go to Corinth--may have to call and reschedule.

The last two weeks have been frustrating, scarey and stressful for us as we have watched and waited for developments. I have no idea what Tom knows about his situation. It is difficult to know whether his reactions are strictly related to his current problems or if they are a manifestation of the Parkinson's. One minute he communicates; the next minute he doesn't. Sometimes he knows when Tommy and/or I are present; sometimes not. He talked with Marty on the phone; he sang with the grandchildren. When I first arrived this morning, he asked me who I was. Most of the rest of the day he rambled words I couldn't understand and could hardly hear. The one constant in all of this has been the mercy and grace of God. Never have the promises of God been more meaningful! Never has His Word been more reassuring! I continue to pray for God's guidance and God's peace in the days ahead. Thank you for joining with me.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

The facts as I know them:

--Tom seemed better yesterday.

--He had spoke briefly to Marty on the phone yesterday. The account is on her blog: www.canapesun.blogspot.com.

--Today the white count was down and we had an answer to why it had been high. He has a bacteria in his intestine that can be caused by high doses of antibiotic and often presents itself in persons with compromised immune systems. They are treating it with other high doses of powerful antibiotics. Go figure.

--He worked with the physical therapists and managed to sit on the side of the bed for seven minutes. That was about ten this morning. He slept the rest of the day.

--Tomorrow he will finally have the swallowing test.

--I left the hospital a little before four to do some necessary errands. We are expecting more snow and or ice in the next couple of days and I needed to be prepared.

--Liz called to say she took the children by to see him after church. They sang "Jesus Loves Me" and "Deep and Wide" and he sang along. Earlier in the day he wouldn't have done that.

--We are still living hour to hour; don't know what to expect; don't know where he might go. Our trust is in our ever faithful God who knows the answers to our questions and will reveal them in His time. We continue to covet your prayers. I often tell others that God works through the prayers of His people. Never has that truth been more evident to me than now!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

The vigil continues as we wait for Tom's healing. Today, as I was sitting and thinking of all that has happened, what has not happened and the information we have tried to process from the doctors, I began to wilt. A dear California friend used to call me a "Steel Magnolia" and I knew today that I was anything but. I am more like a bruised magnolia blossom that turns brown and wilts when it is touched. My body is running on adrenalin, my mind is wrung out and my heart is breaking as I watch Tom lying there.

Toward the end of last week one of the doctors discussed with me what they are concerned about in a person in Tom's condition--complications of clots, pneumonia, urinary tract etc. Today we were to have a swallowing test and see if he could follow commands, but yesterday he spiked a fever and his white count went up to 42,000. Instead of what was planned he has been pumped full of antibiotics, acquired an infectious desease doctor and had more tests. The neurologist on call this week is Tom's regular one and he knows Tom like the back of his hand. He is a very good doctor, explains things well and we have a good relationship with him. I know he will be honest and that he cares. Full recovery, because of the Parkinson's, is not realistic.

The three of us--Tommy, Marty and I--may have to make a hard decision soon. Please pray for us. Tom is the love of my life, a true gift from God.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Keeping bedside vigil can be both tiring and frustrating! Tonight most of the frustration is gone, but the tiredness seems to have increased, though it could be a sign of relief. Tom has not awakened since his surgery Friday night and we spent Sunday night, all of yesterday and a good bit of today waiting to find out why. We learned this afternoon that results of yesterday's MRI showed that Tom suffered between 20 and 30 small strokes during surgery. The neurologist said that it was a rare complication, but said he should recover from them completely in two or three weeks. In the meanwhile, he will remain where he is. He has a nasal tube so that he can receive his Parkinson's medications and proper nutrition. I understand this development will alter recovery, but am trying to not borrow trouble from tomorrow. After all, we are taught to pray: Give us this day our daily bread.

I return to the oncologist Friday and expect to resume treatment. I have enjoyed the extra energy that has allowed me to do simple things like shop and cook and bake without getting so exhausted. Being off treatment has also provided me the energy I've needed during Tom's latest ordeal. It is just one more proof of the truth of God's promises.

We are so grateful for all the prayers offered in our behalf; the FB messages; the calls and e-mails. No one ever had such faithful and wonderful friends as we do!!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

A Quick Note

The last approximately thirty hours have been stressful and somewhat unbelievable. Tom fell in the driveway yesterday afternoon and broke his hip. The circumstances were crazy! We all tease him about his fixation with the Dairy Queen and how it's always been one of his favorite places. We went to Brown Bag Bible Study at noon where no one brings lunch so we usually go for food afterwards. We did that yesterday and when we finished Tom said he could go for a sundae from Dairy Queen. Somehow before we out of the parking lot, he had begun getting more on himself than in his mouth and tummy. By the time we got home he had a spoonful of ice cream in each hand. I parked on the slope leading to our garage, came inside for materials to clean him up, got most of the sticky off him and helped him out of the car. As I was beginning to wipe down the car seat, I heard a scary thud--his head hitting the concrete. He had lost is balance and fell--hard! I called 911 and Tommy and went back outside to wait. We arrived at the ER about 3:15 and were wrapped up in the "wait and see" process until about 2 this morning. ER was exceptionally busy late yesterday with trauma patients, but Tom was not high up on the triage list. He was x-rayed for fractures, scanned for bleeding in the brain or a problem in his neck. Everything was clear. Tommy kept noticing Tom grimmacing when he moved a certain way and told the doctor, at which point the doctor said we should see if he could walk-he couldn't take more than three steps. Back to CT for a pelvic scan and there they could see the fracture. Everything took forever! I got home a little after three. The nurses told me that the surgeons made rounds really early and I should either be back or leave phone numbers so he call and let me know what he proposed to do. About 9 a.m. I got a call from the floor supervisor asking for permission to do the surgery, just in case they came for him from surgery before I got there. Fast forward to 2 p.m. when we learned that it would be at least four before it would be Tom's turn. The anesthesiologist made his fact finding visit about 4:30, saying it would be another two hours at least. Bear in mind that Tom has had nothing to eat or drink since the ice cream that started this fiasco. We had turned on the Cotton Bowl and I had gone to sleep on the all purpose love seat in the room when a new doctor walked in to tell us that Tom could not have surgery until tomorrow because his white blood count was elevated. Hello!! That got my attention! I knew no one had drawn blood since I arrived at 9:30 this morning and asked why we were just learning of an elevated count and had been waiting for hours. His explanations of why the precaution went in one ear and out the other. I knew what he was saying, but it was obvious that the hospitalist folks were not communicating with the orthopedists. Not one question I had could be answered to my satisfaction, but I could do nothing. He went to the desk to order food for Tom and while there, surgery called to say they were coming for Tom. What then? Finally, the two doctors talked and Tom did have the surgery. What an ordeal!!


The actual procedure took about 30 minutes and he was back to the room in record time. The surgeon is a member of the church and he went the extra mile explaining things and telling us how well Tom did. I guess we should be thankful that the waiting was the long part and not the surgery.

God taught me a lesson during the frustrating wait in ER and again in the room today. I was getting madder and meaner by the minute, knowing what a bad witness that was. I knew that if I exhibited the anger I was feeling it would not be the image of Christ being seen. I thought of verses whose message is to be thankful in all things and began naming and thanking God for each blessing that came to mind: family, friends, prayer, the Word, medical care and so on. My spirit was calmed and my anger subsided. I told that to the doctor who delivered the message that surgery had to be postponed. He said nothing, but grinned. I pray he understood what I was saying and I pray that the Spirit of Christ was exhibited to all who have cared for Tom during the last thirty hours.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Here we go again . . .

The repacking and putting away is in progress. Every year I can remember I have tried to think of more efficient ways to store things--this year is no different. The challenge will be to remember how I made changes, what's in the boxes and where those boxes are. Thankfully, no one is pushing me to get it done and I have a precious helper who goes up and down the pull down stairs to the attic. The one thing I resist putting away is the angel choir that belonged to Mom and Dad. It's one of my most treasured possessions! Except for the choir, I should be finished by the weekend.

Though I love the holidays, I also love getting back into a routine. Brown Bag Bible Study resumes tomorrow and we are both anxious to get back to the study of Zechariah. Conference rivalries begin in college basketball in January and we're ready to begin the road to the Final Four. All West Tennessee band try-outs for middle school are this Saturday and we're looking forward to taking Jacob to Collierville (just east of Memphis) where he will compete, this year on baritone sax. So, here we are, starting another year, getting back into routine things of our lives.

I wish I knew what "here we go again" means for treatment. I am still waiting for word as to when I see the doctor again and when treatment begins. On days when I don't feel really great my imagination runs wild. One day last week I was unloading on Marty and wondered if no treatment, no word from the oncologist had a hidden meaning. She said, "Do you think he's given up on you?" I replied that if he had and that was the way he practiced medicine he wouldn't have a liscense very long. She said that she only asked the question because she wanted me to hear how ridiculous I sounded. That has helped me wait more patiently for "here we go again" where the cancer is concerned.

Tonight, particularly, I share with you "here we go agains" that are at the top of our prayer list. Our friend, Susan who begain her journey with inflammatory breast cancer in 2007, learned this week that she has several spots on her lungs and is waiting for the next step in her treatment. Please pray for a miracle for her. Just before Christmas we learned of a dear California friend who had surgery for bladder cancer and of another who was to go this week to learn the extent of recently discovered bladder caner. Over the weekend we heard from a friend in Iowa whose husband has a recurrence of an abdominal cancer. They all need prayer as well.

Will we ever stop hearing of new or recurring cancers? Will there ever be a cure? Tom and I pray at every meal for the afore mentioned friends and for another Susan who lives nearby. Tom also prays for all the cancer to be removed from my body. Though we know medical statistics and probablities, we believe God is a God of miracles. I know that I may never be healed in this world and understand that complete healing takes place when we meet the Lord face to face. I hold fast to the knowledge that should healing might not happen here, that God's grace will continue to sustain me. Please be bold in your prayers for those you know who suffer any illness. And, in that same spirit of boldness, pray for a cure! I'm tired of "here we go again."

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Happy New Year!

When the Rose Parade is on TV I know it must be New Year's Day. Attending in person has always been on my "bucket list." I am amazed at all the creativity and hard work exhibited. Shortly, we change channels to watch football. Wouldn't you know that three games we really want to see are at the same time? No matter. We'll be watching and cheering for Tom's alma mater in the Gator Bowl. Go Dawgs!!!

Last night as we were enjoying a quiet, candlelight dinner, I realized that for us, New Year's Eve is more about remembering than about looking forward. Maybe our ages are showing. It's not that we don't think about the new year presenting new opportunities or a clean slate, so to speak. It's just that we have such delightful memories from years past--and some memories that are painful as well.

Tom's mom loved the parades on Thanksgiving Day and New Year's. She planned her mornings around being able to watch uninterrupted. She would settle in her chair with the remote in one hand and the phone in the other so she call and remind us that "parades have started." My first thoughts when the Rose Parade came on today were of Mom. One memory of her led to another and another and another . . .

Tommy and Liz have a house full of company--nine children and five adults. In the early years of their marriage, before they had children, friends of theirs from high school and college would arrive at their house with sleeping bags and pillows for a New Year's Eve celebration. None of the friends lived in the town where T & L lived and didn't want to drive home after an evening of merriment. At midnight Tommy would call to wish us "Happy New Year," knowing that he would wake us up with his greeting. Last night, in addition to the fourteen already present, two more joined them for dinner. We had planned to stop by for a bit, but it didn't work out for us to join them.

When Tommy and Marty were teenagers, several New Year's Eve gatherings for their friends were at our house. Ingredients for the evening were simple: lots of food, soft drinks and current board games. We would play with them until about ten, say our good nights and wait to be awakened by T&M at midnight with "Happy New Year." One year the youth group sponsors decided the party should be at their house instead of ours. What they didn't realize was that it really wasn't a church function. Our youth group was one big family that attracted others of T&M's friends and they gathered at our house for a party. That happened a lot, not just on New Year's Eve and last night I remembered that group of young folks, how special they were--and are today! Some of them were among those who celebrated with Tommy and Liz at their "spend the night" parties and one of the adults at their house last night was included in both of the earlier celebrations. I didn't wait for Tommy to wake me last night. I called him at 10:45 to say "Happy New Year" and that I was going to bed. Why didn't I think of that before?

That may be too much information, but thinking back reminded me of the friendships begun and nurtured in the youth group. It reminded me of individuals in the group, where they are today, what they are doing and how those friendships have lasted. I am thankful for our children's friends and thankful we are privileged to be included in their circle. I am thankful for a special youth director who was at the heart of the group. He remains close to them.

The holiday season of 1981 has been referenced recently when I wrote of our experience with a breast cancer diagnosis and surgery just three days after Christmas. In those days, that was not "drive through" surgery, but one that kept you hospitalized several days, so I was still in the hospital on New Year's Eve. That was the day pathology reports were shared and Tom planned to have two dear friends spend with me. Sybil came to spend the afternoon and Marilyn arrived in the early evening to spend the night. I will always be touched by the thoughtfulness of his arrangements and the sacrifice my two friends made to be with me that day. I still smile about an event of the afternoon. On that particular day patients from one wing were being transferred to another so deep cleaning could take place. Early in the afternoon, housekeeping took all my personal belongings to my new room and said someone would be back for me. Sybil and I visited, not paying attention to the time. About 5 p.m. an orderly entered my room, did a quick about face and left. We heard him in the hall stating, "There's someone in that room!" The staff had forgotten to move me. Later, Marilyn and I feasted on peanuts and popcorn in my new room. Tom had brought some for the nurses' station and for us to eat while we talked and watched football. It was an in-hospital slumber party. Those two friends helped me more than they will ever know. They continue to be a most important part of our lives. They came to California after cancer surgery there and they and their husbands come often to Tennessee now.

Precious memories come to mind at the close of this year. One memory leads to another and each reminds me of the One from whom all blessings flow. The new year has begun; we don't know what it holds. The slate is blank; the opportunities are many. I trust that this time next year we will have added to the precious memory bank. God bless you in the coming days!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

The year was a blur . . .

We spent Christmas 2009 with Tom in the hospital and began 2010 with him in the nursing home. He had taken a definite turn for the worst and wondered if he would ever come home again. God, in His mercy, answered our prayers for improvement and he came home the first week in February. His condition is definitely deteriorating, with bad days outnumbering good days. Still, we have had some great times together and with our family.

Marty, Kevin and their three came for a visit around Easter and we were able to spend a long weekend with them in November when we went to Raleigh so I could baptize Colin. Marty has introduced me to Skype so we can visit "face to face" to see how the boys are growing. Mallory is in her first year of high school--hard to believe. Being around the corner from Tommy and Liz means sharing ordinary days, holidays and birthdays. I have loved watching Jacob develop his musical abilities and the two younger girls learn how to play together. Drew is very consciencious with his school work, but not so much in keeping up with things. I wonder if we have an "absent minded professor" in the making. Sarah helps both her mom and her dad around the house and is really good with her little sisters. I haven't cooked with her so much this year, but hope to resume that soon. They are all growing up too fast to suit me.

Our holidays have been relaxing--for the most part. I've enjoyed baking and having food to share. We had friends for dinner a couple of weeks ago and they brought beautiful pictures of a three month trip they took to Alaska in the summer and another about ten day one to South Africa in the fall. The travelogue was especially meanigful to Tom and me since we don't travel so well any more. Christmas Eve we had Tommy's family, plus Liz's mom and dad for dinner; I took stollen and ham biscuits to add to Christmas breakfast at Tommy's and went back that night with a plate full of goodies. I have made enough biscuits in the last two weeks to feed a small army! It was the right decision to start ordering 25 pound bags of flour from King Arthur.

One of my favorite things about Christmas is mail time. I love seeing pictures of children and grandchildren; I love hearing what everyone has been doing; I love knowing of others' lives. I am reminded of how grateful I am for friends and how I need to pray for each one. We were saddened one day to see the names of two who had special places in our life in a list of memorials. One was the name of the lady who was my mentor/friend when I did my Christian Education fieldwork and the same lady who arranged the first date Tom and I had with each other. The second was a friend with whom we shared lots of memories.

We learned in early December, 1981 that I probably had breast cancer. We kept the news to ourselves except for family and very close friends until the Sunday after Christmas--I was scheduled for a biopsy on Monday. I remember sitting in the living room while usual, traditional things happened all around us. Tommy was twelve; Marty was eight. I was aware that I might be spending my last Christmas with them and I was both sad and afraid. Here we are almost 30 years later and I am more aware than ever that each Christmas could be the last one that our family is together--in spirit, if not in body. The difference today is that I don't observe; I don't just let it happen. I am determined to participate and love every minute. This year I am especially grateful of the rest from treatment; I am grateful for energy to go to the grocery; I am grateful that I have learned to sit while doing many kitchen tasks. I am grateful for friends and family who don't listen to me when I tell them "I can do it myself." I am grateful for a husband who keeps on trying and keeps on loving and keeps on remembering the vows we took.

There have been some rough days when Tom's illness has taken over, when he has been too confused to know the difference between day and night. He gets a new scrape or bruise almost every day. We get impatient with one another, but have learned to talk about things as best we can, say "I'm sorry" and move ahead. All the time I know that he probably won't remember what we said.

None of us knows what tomorrow will bring. This may be the last Christmas many of us spend with our families. We just don't know! It's as the gospel song says, "We do not know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future." That is our hope; it is our assurance!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

All Things Bright and Beautiful

The Lord did indeed make them all! Ours has been a wonderful Advent season, highlighted by Tuesday noon services at the church we attend. Guest musicians have provided special music and guest ministers have led in Advent devotionals. After each service we have gathered to share simple lunches in the fellowship hall and the visiting around the tables has added to the day. Sunday, a week ago, the choir presented their annual cantata during the worship hour. Frankly, I have never liked for the music to take the place of the spoken word, but I'll have to say that the music that morning was absolutely glorious. Scripture readings began with the Creation in Genesis and continued through God's plan for our salvation and the birth of Jesus. This past Sunday found us headed to Humboldt to worship with our friends there. One delightful lady was celebrating her 96th birthday and the church had planned a little surprise party for her after the service. The minister's text was the Matthew 1 story of Joseph's learning of Mary's pregnancy and his response. The delightful part was that she assumed the character of Joseph and dramatically shared in first person. It has been a season of anticipation and thanksgiving for the gift of Jesus.

Together Tom and I have baked, shopped, decorated and enjoyed friends and family. The one thing that hasn't been done is no Christmas cards have been sent. My address list got stuck somewhere between the old and new laptops so I have been carefully recording addresses as card come to us. Yesterday we went to Memphis to shop in two specific stores: a men's store for Tom and Penzey's spice store. My cousin met us at Penzey's and the three of us went to lunch. It was nice to enjoy excellent service, cloth tablecloths and napkins and great food. We had a wonderful visit as well. Tom, of course, listens more than he talks--we don't give him much opportunity, if you want to know the truth.

Last night as we approached our house I noticed the porch light was on and remarked that someone had been here. Then when as I prepared to make the wide swing to get into our garage we saw both Tommy and Elizabeth's vans. Tommy had bought us a tree and the two of them were busily setting it up when we arrived. (There was a tell tale trail of evergreen needles from the back door into the living room.) Liz, who I have desiganted as the "light queen," put the lights on and we began putting on the ornaments after they went home. I don't know who gets the most joy out of this experience that they duplicate each year.

Tonight we celebrated Meredith's fifth birthday. She was not quite a year old when we moved here and today she is a delightful little girl, full of imagination and affection for her family. Big sister Sarah had the stomach bug and had to miss the party, but Mimi, Liz's mom, was able to join us by Skype. Modern technology is something else!

More cooking follows--and of course, more eating. We are so blessed to have family and friends and we have loved hearing from many and seeing pictures. We wish you the most wonderful of Christmases full of hope, peace, joy and love made possible by the gift of Jesus.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Cancer

Cancer and its effects have been on my mind this week. It started as I thought about Marty visiting her friend Susan in DC. (I actually have two Susan friends who have cancer and from time to time I have asked you to pray for them.) Well, the DC Susan is Marty's oldest and dearest friend who was diagnossed with inflammatory breast cancer three years ago when her younger son was about three months old. More often than not, this particular breast cancer is a killer. Susan underwent agressive chemo and radiation, went into remission and then had a bilateral mastectomy and hysterectomy. She resumed work from home doing special projects for NASA (she's an astro-physicist), started a blog for moms with cancer and became quite vocal as an advocate for breast cancer awareness, particularly the kind she had. Then this past spring she heard the dreaded words from her doctor that cancer cells were discovered in lymph nodes under her arm. Back she went for more radiation and was put on an oral chemo drug which has wreaked havoc on her body. Still, she mustered the energy for Marty to visit along with her two boys for three or four days last week. Monday the oncologist recommended they stop the chemo because of the toll it was taking repeat scans in January to see if the drug has wiped out the cancer. Susan, naturally, has had some questions about the doctor's recommendation.

Then came the announcement on that very Monday that treatment had been stopped for Elizabeth Edwards. Most of us who heard that understood that her death would be emminent, but were somewhat surprised to learn that she died Tuesday morning. She was a brave woman who chose to live with her disease rather than to await her death. She was also a high profile person who endured the public humility of her husband's infidelity. Her grace and dignity in the midst of her suffering most certainly will be the legacy she leaves. I can only wonder if she had questions about her decision to stop treatment when she did.

Mrs. Edwards's influence will be felt across the country. Susan influences many daily as she blogs, as she shares in the scientific community and as she continues her life as wife and mother. She, too, has a large audience. Many more of us have much smaller circles of influence, but no matter how known or unknown we are, we have family and friends who love and support us and who pray for our healing. Cancer is no respector of persons!

My other friend, Susan who has ovarian cancer, faced new decisions regarding her treatment recently. There were questions as to the best course to take. Was she making the right decision? How would it affect her life? Would the new treatment be more effective than the previous one?

The events of the week raised questions for me as well. My last treatment was November 19 and have not actually been told when they will be resumed. They were stopped so that my body could have a much needed rest, but I can't help but wonder if there is something I don't know. Are we about to face the decision between quantity and quality? How much will be have to play "catch up" when I begin again? How much ground will have been lost, if any? Will we enjoy aa period of remission? There are always questions. We all have them.

I hate cancer. I hate what it does to its victims. I hate, especially, what it does to family and friends of those who have it. My heart aches when I remember Tom hearing, not once, but several times about the cancer in my body; it aches when I remember having to tell our children and it aches when I remember the look on Tommy's face when the doctor told us that the disease is incurable and predicted how long I'd live--even though he was wrong with his calculations. These are the things that make me sad.

I am sustained by the knowledge that God is bigger than any cancer and as one Susan reminds me, He is on duty 24/7. The heartache shrinks when I remember how blessed I am to have such a loving, caring husband, children and other family who express their love and concern in too many ways to count and friends far and wide who stay close. There will always be questions, but we need not fear when we trust such a faithful God as we have. During this Advent, as we prepare to celebrate the coming of Jesus, I am especially reminded of the hope, peace, joy and love He brought.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Anticipation

It's really cold outside--hasn't gotten out of the thirties yesterday or today and Johnny Mathis is entertaining us with "It's Beginning to Look Alot Like Christmas." Anticipation is mounting.

I am missing posting Advent devotionals this year, but I simply didn't start writing early enough to meet the deadline to have them printed. I have been using a booklet my one of my favorite writers, the late Henri Nouwen and today we went to the noon Advent service at our church. Each Tuesday during the season there is a service featuring special music and a guest minister. Today our organist presented the music playing an original composition and two hymns he and the guest minister had written. After we had sung the hymns, he improvised on the tunes. He closed with an arrangement of "Joy to the World." It was a special worship service followed by a soup luncheon in the fellowship hall.

Little by little I've been getting out our Christmas things and am surprised almost every time I open a box. Last year I didn't feel like getting out much, then Tom went to the hospital and I was glad I hadn't. I had forgotten where I had stored some things and in some cases, even forgotten I had something I found. We love our old decorations and the memories they hold, but it's fun to add new touches too. The hard part is remembering where things are! If I put something out everyday, I should be through decorating by the time it's time to put it away again.

Yesterday I made a family favorite, cherry refrigerator cookies. They aren't necessarily just for Christmas but are full of red and green candied cherries so they fit the color scheme. Traditionally, I make stollen and lemon muffins for Christmas breakfast so will probably do those next and put them in the freezer. If I cook something everyday, we should have lots to eat and lots to share. That works for me.

Our front bedroom looks like the North Pole with piles of both wrapped and unwrapped gifts. Liz does the Black Friday thing, making periodic stops throughout the morning to drop off her "finds." This year Marty had some of her gifts sent here for me to wrap and they add to the piles. Somewhere in all of that are the things I have to get in the mail. If I wrap a few everyday, we should be organized and ready.

Had the oncologist not given me a month free of treatment, not much of the above would be taking place. What a gift! It adds to our anticipation of the celebration of the birth of our Saviour. We are full of hope, peace, joy and love: hope because of God's grace; peace as we trust Him for our every need; joy that comes from knowing that we are God's children; and love for all our family and friends. We wish for you those things as well.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Just Lazy . . .

Blogging has not been a priority lately. Maybe my lack of computer in October pushed me out of the habit. Or it could have been that my brain was on overload. Whatever. When I looked at the date of my last post I was surprised that it had been two weeks and I've missed you.

During my weeks away, we have celebrated my 70th birthday, had Thanksgiving and partially celebrated Liz's birthday which fell on Thanksgiving day. She braved the crowds for Black Friday shopping and though I didn't leave the house, I had a credit card number stolen--and used. One of the reasons for brain overload was my trying to get Advent devotionals ready in time. I didn't make it, but at least I'm a step ahead for next year.

Another day I participated in a program for an older adult luncheon at the church. It didn't require major preparation because I've done this one many times, but I did have to get organized. We called it "Gifts You Give Your Children" and focused on end of life decisions, funeral/memorial service plans and documenting your life, especially your spiritual life. I enjoyed doing it and came away with ideas for future activities.

The highlight of the day was when the church playschool children walked quietly through the fellowship hall where we were having lunch. Elisa saw us and immediately said, "Maw Maw, Paw Paw" loud enough for everyone to hear. You know that tickles us! Next whe looked the other direction into the kitchen and saw her daddy and in an even more excited voice called his name. A friend said she had never seen such a grin on Tommy's face. Her reaction made me think about a book I gave Tommy on his 21st birthday. I think the name of it is I'll Love You Forever and it tells of a little boy's birth, his life in his family and how the mother was always there to care for him, saying, "I'll love you forever." The illustrations show the mother holding him in her arms, lifting him when he couldn't lift himself. Toward the end, the roles reverse when the boy becomes a man and cares for the mother, holding her and lifting her when necessary. I am experiencing that role reversal. As I saw the looks on Elisa's and Tommy's faces there was nothing but love, acceptance and trust in their eyes. I had this thought: our children really cannot comprehend the love we have for them until they have children of their own. It's a special thing to see your children with theirs, to see the love you have for them reflected on their faces as they care for their children. We give thanks everyday for our children and their families!

Advent begins tomorrow. I trust it will be for you a time of anticipation, of hope, of peace, of joy and of love as you look forward to celebrating the first coming of Christ.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Lots to Share . . .

Tom, Tommy and I were in Raleigh this time last week for Colin's baptism. We left on Thursday, spent the night in Ashville, North Carolina and were greeted at breakfast that there had been snow at 6 a.m. Fortunately, it was gone by the time we were ready to resume our travels. We arrived in Raleigh in time to meet with one of the associates at White Memorial Presbyterian Church where Marty and Kevin are members. Saturday we awakened to a slow, steady rain, but it didn't prevent our going downtown to eat a BIG country breakfast at Big Ed's, a Raleigh favorite. The baptism was at the 9:30 a.m. service on Sunday and was followed by lunch at Marty's for family and friends who were present. Sunday night Marty and Tommy went to the store where Tommy planned dinner and bought what was needed. He prepared a real feast! Monday we headed home, spent that night in Knoxville and were home by 1:30 p.m. on Tuesday. The trip was wonderful, but really tiring. Tommy did all the loading and unloading and all the driving, plus numerous other things to help. I don't know how we could have made it without him! I may be as hard headed as ever, but not as tough as I think I am.

Colin is just over nine months old and weighs a solid twenty four pounds. Both he and Christopher had colds, but nothing could keep him from smiling. During the service I made a few remarks about baptism, asked the usual questions, then took Colin in my arms to administer the sacrament. He smiled and watched every movement I made as I touched his head with the water three times and welcomed him into the Covenant Family of God. He kept that precious smile all the while the associate walked down the aisle to present him to the congregation. Once again, I am reminded of the privilege it is to baptize a child, but especially your own grandchild, and the responsibility we all have to teach them about our amazing God!

Trees along the way were dressed in their fall finery--a bonus for us. Since we've been back to Jackson I've noticed how much trees in town have changed just in a week. The crepe myrtles are a brilliant red and yellow orange; the dogwoods are a softer shade of red; the Bradford pears are multi-colored; and the maples and a tree I don't recognize are splendid in various shades of yellow. This morning I spotted a big ghinko that is bright yellow, but know it will have dropped many of its leaves by morning because of much needed rain we're getting today. I do love fall and all its colors!

Thursday we went to Memphis for scans, bloodwork and a visit with the oncologist. We both were a little apprehensive, mainly because my CA125 has been slowly rising and the extreme fatigue. Dr. Reed told me: "The disease is stable--it has not decreased, but neither has it increased. In your situation and as your doctor I want you to know that this is a good report." I could hardly concentrate on his words for offering my silent thanks to God. Dr. Reed also asked if I'd like to take a brief treatment break to let my body mend some. So, right now I'm enjoying an eight day rest from treatment and will resume next Friday. Yesterday I called to get the CA125 number and learned that it has gone down three points since last month. Getting back on the Avastin has definitely helped. God constantly amazes me with His grace and goodness!

It was a BIG week--spending time with family, baptizing Colin, getting good news. We are so blessed!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Finally Back

Last Saturday I picked up my new laptop at Office Depot and I've been struggling learning the differences in it and the former laptop. I was so used to the one I had!

Let's see if I can give you a brief update on our October activities.

• Did I tell you that Tom joined a fitness center and is working with a personal trainer two days a week? He is doing well and I know it is helping him.
• On the negative side, he gets more disoriented and less functioning as the afternoon turns to evening. Parkinson's is so unpredictable!!
• The cataract surgeries have done well and we look forward to seeing the opthamologist this week for a final time--we hope.
• I was able to resume the Avastin, but thus far have not noticed any good it's done. My blood pressure has risen, but it's being controlled by medication. My red blood count is creeping down necessitating shots in an attempt to prompt cell production. The CA125 is creeping up. I will go to the Memphis office in another couple of weeks for scans and for my monthly visit with the doctor. Please pray for a positive visit.
• The past two Sundays I filled the pulpit in Humboldt, taught Sunday School the week before that and began this year's PW Bible Study in Revelation. (Next, I begin work on the Advent devotions for our church here--have to get busy fast or won't be ready.)

Not only has the blog drought been broken, but the rains finally returned this past week. With the rain came cooler temperatures and it's beginning to feel and look more like fall. Tom and I have begun our periodic runs downtown to check out the ghinko trees lining the streets--not much yellow showing yet. A friend took us by the West Tennessee Experiment Station yesterday afternoon to see a huge one there and it had one yellow branch. The interesting thing about it, however, is that its trunk is a series of interwoven trunks, the like of which I have never seen. They also erect a big pumpkin display yearly and we enjoyed that as well. I love fall.

This coming week we are making our long awaited trip to Raleigh to baptize Colin next Sunday. We covet your prayers as we travel and as we welcome another covenant child into the Covenant Family.

Very shortly we anticipate the arrival of five costumed Suttles so they can trick or treat at our house before going to visit with friends in a neighborhood that has more children. They had Trunk or Treat at the church Wednesday night and with tonight's outing I decided they had enough candy so I'm packaging grapes and wrapping some pieces of cake I made especially for them today. At least the grapes are healthy. I'd best go busy myself getting things ready.

I've missed visiting with you and hope you are all well.

Blessings,

Pastor Margaret

Status Report

In case you wonder where I am and what's up, my computer is about to die on me and it's rather awkward to type with one hand while holding the cord in place with the other. Hopefully, I'll be back in business in a few days. Til then.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Ups and Downs

We all have them. Some have more ups than downs; some more downs than ups. And, with some you can't tell the difference. It could be a matter of perspective. It could be one's circumstances; it could be one's age; it could be how long the circumstances have been endured. I don't know much, but I do know that we have good days and we have bad days. Shoot, we have good hours, followed by bad ones. One minute Tom can be up and going, alert, anxious to get on with things. The next minute he may be disoriented, weak and shaking inside. I guess that's the nature of Parkinson's. This week we've been more up than down, though I am still plagued by aenemia that manifests itself in fatigue and shortness of breath--more than anything, that makes me mad.

Let me tell you what Tom did this week. He had called a fitness center last week for information and Monday he announced he wanted me to take him so he could see firsthand what they had to offer. We went, signed him up for four months and made an appointment for Wednesday to talk about personal trainers. He wants to regain some strength and weight and is determined to do everything he can to improve his condition. Neither of us is in denial. We know what Parkinson's does to the body, but we also know the research that supports the positive effects of exercise on PD patients. He starts with his trainer Monday.

Tuesday we went with a group of older adults from the church to spend some time at the river house of one of the members. We are very near the Tennessee River and there are many lakes, creeks and the like associated with the river. the house where we went is located on Lick Creek, at Parsons, TN, the sight of a Civil War battle. Most of our group enjoyed a ride on the pontoon boat, while the rest of us chose to remain at the house to visit and get lunch ready. Tommy had prepared his own version of pulled pork and others of us fixed slaw, potato salad, baked beans and dessert. After lunch I taught several how to play Chicken Foot, a domino game, in case it's not familiar to you. What a good time we had!

On the way to the house I noticed a field of cotton so full of open bolls needing to be picked that it looked like snow. The sight made me think of two things, completely unrelated. First, I thought of the Bible verse that tells of the "fields that are white unto harvest." No matter how many churches dot our landscape, no matter how many profess to believe, there are many remaining who need to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. That personal relationship is so much more than putting our name on a church register. What can I do to help with the harvest?

The second thought was of a tee shirt friends gave Tom one Christmas we lived in California. The shirt is white with a dark gray design of a cotton field. The caption reads: "Ski Mississippi." Any time Tom wears that shirt I imagine cotton in the fields at all its stages--each one is beautiful. The only stage that is not so beautiful is when the picker has done its job and all you see are brown stalks with white leftovers. Did those cotton scraps not quite measure up? Did they miss the bus? What will become of them? It seems like a waste. Nevertheless, it's only cotton. What if we went through the "fields that are white unto harvest" and ignored the ones who cling to the stalks, the ones that are left and ignored?

Tomorrow is Corinth--no visit with the oncologist, just infusion. We keep praying for healing, but these days I especially pray for a good attitude and for patience to stay the course. Will you join us?

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Fall in the South

This has always been one of my favorite times of year. I love the cooler temperatures, the changing colors, the falling leaves, the way the shadows fall at the end of the day and I love high school and SEC football.

I love the Farmers' Market in the fall. This morning I hurriedly dressed for a quick trip to check on fall offerings. The nearby Mennonite community sells large pots of mum in a variety of colors for $5 each. I wanted one of every color, but decided on yellow: two for the front porch and one for Kia, our helper. Next, I spotted someone selling pears and apples and bought a few pounds of each. Our stash of apple butter and pear honey has been depleted and it's time to make some more. You know what I'll be doing next week.

Tom has been working in the yard this week, trying to trim bushes and get rid of privet hedge. I've decided privet is like sin and cancer and possibly kudzu. Once they start growing, get a foothold, they are hard to stop. Cutting back privet doesn't help; that only encourages growth. You have to REALLY cut it back, saturate the stumps with deadly chemical and pray for the best. Sounds like cancer and its treatment to me! Sin, too, needs to be completely eliminated and the remaining parts treated with daily doses of spiritual medicine. Kudzu may be unstoppable. In any case, privet, sin and cancer all call for drastic measures. We're out to get them all!!

The good news of last week paled a little this week. That one infusion of Avastin last Friday sent my blood pressure right back up again. I've been on a med to bring it down and keep it at a desirable level, but the insurance people, in their infinite wisdom, disallowed it and sent a substitute. I've not yet started the sub, but according to the literature, the side effects are many. Why would they change something that works perfectly well? Oh, well. It's part of the journey. Our prayer is that a safe blood pressure level can be maintained and that the Avastin will reverse the progress of the cancer. That's a lot to ask, but not too much for our God.

Now I must tear myself away from football and my comfortable chair to satisfy Tom's lunch craving--good ole' West Tennessee barbeque. Only Tommy's can beat it!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

A Banner Week

This past week was full of doctor stuff with four out of five days finding one or the other of us being seen for something. That seems to be more and more the norm--not a complaint--just a statement of fact. Most of our appointments were in connection with Tom's cataract surgeries: Monday we did follow up on the first surgery; Wednesday was the second eye and Thursday was the first follow up to the second surgery. The doctor seems to be pleased with his work and with Tom's progress, though it will be a little longer before the final correction for his sight. Right now he's experimenting to see whether he sees better with his glasses or without. I suspect it's a little frustrating, but he doesn't complain.

Friday we learned that the Avastin could be resumed. My blood pressure was the lowest it's been since Avastin was introduced over a year ago. Hopefully, medication will help maintain it so I can continue the Avastin. Also, my red cell count had improved by 2 tenths of a point--not much, but it did go up and not down. You can bet we've said many hallelujahs and praise the Lords!

There are hints of fall in the air--falling leaves, a few trees beginning to turn, football. I love the way the shadows fall in the late afternoon this time of year. Still the daily temperatures promise to remain in the mid-nineties. I'm ready for cooler weather!

After a week such as we've had I ponder all the ways God has blessed us. His blessings never cease; they just keep coming. It is humbling when I consider how truly unworthy and undeserving I am. God's blessings are such a demonstration of His unconditional love for His children. I am unworthy, undeserving, but oh so grateful!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Too Good to be True

We have just returned from the most wonderful weekend with our church family in Jackson, MS. Covenant Presbyterian Church celebrated its 50th anniversary this past weekend with much visiting, remembering, food and a glorious worship service yesterday morning. I cannot begin to write how special everything was.

At the Friday night banquet we were seated with some who had served on staff together in the late eighties. Joe Rightmyer, former senior pastor, had driven over from Dallas with his wife and daughter; Bill Ballou, former youth director, came from Memphis with his wife and daughter; Kathy Kenne, former children's director, flew in from a mission trip in Kenya that afternoon and was perky and pretty as ever; Will Jones, former custodian and faithful follower of Jesus came with his son. Later we saw other former staff members--Stewart Edwards, now president of French Camp Academy and former youth director and Robyn Farber, former children's director and mother to three beautiful daughters, one of whom was there also. Sitting around that dinner table brought back lots of memories of sitting in staff meetings together long ago. Especially I remembered how energizing it was to be with Joe, Bill and Kathy at our afternoon chocolate seeking or yogurt craving outings to discuss upcoming ministry events. We planned and laughed and fed off each other. What a staff! What wonderful friends!

The Saturday luncheon provided opportunity to see more friends and to be brought up to date on some who could not be there and to be reminded of the history and ministry of the church through the years. I was given an opportunity to tell something of what has been going on with us in the years since we left "home." Being in front of people to speak is not difficult for me, but I'll have to say Saturday's remarks were the most difficult I've ever had to deliver. I was not prepared for the emotion that overwhelmed me when I stood at the podium and looked out into the faces of those who have nurtured both me and my family, who have encouraged and affirmed the ministry God has given me and who have literally shared most of my life. I was so scattered that the carefully thought out remarks disappeared.

We had been told that the sanctuary had a "new" look and that we wouldn't believe it. That was an understatement. I was amazed at the transformation and the beauty of the worship space.
Covenant has long been noted for the quality of its music ministry and yesterday's offering was wonderful. The angels in heaven were no doubt singing along! Again we saw friends who had not been present at other events. We were packed into a pew with special friends, son Tommy and grandson Jacob.

Tom and I stayed with special friends, Glen and Marilyn Graves and had such a good time relaxing and catching up. Saturday afternoon they took us on a tour of downtown Jackson so we could see recent developments and how the city has changed. Now, if the city would only resurface the streets!!! Saturday night we stayed in, enjoyed a tasty dinner that the Graves had waiting just in case we didn't want to go out and watched a little football. There is nothing like good friends, good food and the comfortable, sustaining feelings that come when being together.

Having Tommy and Jacob with us was a bonus. Tommy did all the driving and watched over Tom and me like the protector he is. They stayed with Liz's brother and his wife (who, incidentally, was Jacob's first and favorite babysitter) and three little boys. That gave them opportunity to visit with family and be part of the celebration as well. It was quite a weekend for us all!!

This morning the emotions are mixed. Memories of the weekend have my spirits lifted above the clouds. I am grateful for the blessings God has given us through the years, yet I miss being surrounded by the "cloud of witnesses" known as Covenant Presbyterian Church.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Yesterday . . .

Yesterday was a serendipity kind of day. I had not been to the grocery store in three weeks--no bread, a few eggs, no milk, no lettuce. Thank goodness for a freezer and for leftovers. Still it was time to make a trip and it was the first Wednesday of the month meaning a five percent savings for senior citizens. I had a plan--had, being the operative word. Kia had to leave for a little while, but was coming back to go with us to the store. Tom had another plan. His involved no extra help. I knew it was a mistake to engage his plan and not mine, but I also knew that was not a battle I wanted to fight at that time.

I had a good talk with myself before we went. I would be patient; I would not raise my voice when he couldn't find things on the shelf; I would be glad he wanted to go and could help even a little bit. He pushed a shopping cart behind me as I motored up and down the aisles--it's a good thing those motorized things stop on a dime! His ideas didn't always jive with the list I had, but it didn't matter. Only when he picked up the wrong sugar did I send him back to exchange it for what I intended. We were doing fine until check out when I realized that it was almost one, we were in the line with a brand new checker and we had a doctor's appointment at 1:10 p.m. In order to save time, I handed Tom the car keys when the groceries were all in the cart and suggested he go begin putting things in the car while I helped correct some mistakes made in the ticket. I could see our car in the first handicapped spot right outside the door, but I couldn't see Tom. When I finally did get outside I spotted him two rows over and in the middle of the lot. It was so noisy it was hard to make him hear me, but I guided him to our car, we loaded the groceries and headed home to put frozen things away. It was 1 p.m. Fortunately, we live close to important things like church, grocery store, drug store and doctors' offices! We made it to the office at 1:12, waited a few minutes and were taken back for his check up.

While we were waiting for the doctor Tommy called to see if we could possibly get Jacob from school. I said we could if we weren't long with the doctor. We finished up, came back home to unload more groceries, put drops in Tom's eyes and off we went to get Jacob. Of course, we'd had no lunch. Jake and I usually get ice cream when I pick him up and Tom and I decided that would do for lunch. We went to a place in town that has been designated as one of the ten best ice cream parlors in the US. None of us had been and had a good time walking around see all the "treasures" for sale--enjoyed the ice cream treat too. Afterwards, we stopped by a music store to see if baritone sax reeds Tommy had ordered had arrived. Jake knew the store well because Pop, his other granddad, and he had been there together. He showed us the 12 string guitar and the mandolin they had looked at and was a happy young man to walk out with the long awaited reeds. I was a happy wife and grandmother to be with two such fine fellows.

A harried, hurried day had turned into one where we just let things happen. Spending a leisurely hour or so visiting and eating ice cream with our grandson was one of the week's highlights, for sure!!

Last night at church Tommy taught an overview of Galatians in preparation for a ten week small group study. I have heard him teach a lot since we've moved here, but I'll have to say that last night was probably the best. Not only did we learn things about Paul and his writing to the churches in Galatia, but those who will be small group leaders were helped in their preparation as well. God has blessed Tommy with a real gift and He has blessed us to have the opportunity to hear him teach!

Tom's cataract surgery went very well and we are looking forward to the second one in two more weeks. We are hopeful that when all is said and done, his vision will be improved. It has been a busy week. We look forward to the beginning of SEC football. Go Dawgs!!!!

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Old age is not for sissies . . .


At least that's what I've been told. I've also heard these older years referred to as the Golden Years. The response to that is whoever named them "golden" hasn't reached these years yet. So, how did I get where I am today?

Just this week I was reflecting on the beginnings of Older Adult Ministry at our home church in Mississippi at the request of some folks working on the fiftieth anniversary of the church. I was reminded of one of the obstacles I had to overcome--age. I was in my forties and felt rather presumptious telling people older than I what they needed. My convictions about ministering to and alongside older adults were, at that point, theory. I had been carefully taught both in the classroom and by being a caregiver for my mother, but I was young myself. Then one day I opened my eyes and the theories had become reality; "they" had become "we." We were on Medicare and folks no longer asked to see ID if we were to qualify for senior citizen discounts. Those maladies that plagued the elderly "others" became all too familiar.


This week Tom has the first of two cataract surgeries, a condition associated more with the older folks. We have to be at the surgery center Tuesday at 6:45 a.m. Who in their right mind gets up that early anymore? The surgery has become so streamlined over the years that the pre-admit process takes more effort than the actual surgery--or so it seems. Tom is looking forward to improved vision.

I am increasingly aware of limitations imposed upon us, not just because of our ages, but also because of our illnesses. How far or how much I have to walk determines much of where I go and what I do. This week I've had problems with sore feet in addition to the persistent fatigue. Both are side effects of chemo. Plans to go to the grocery store have become as involved as planning for a two week vacation. I have begun to use a motorized cart and thus far haven't run over anyone or anything and I've found that most people are really eager to help you reach those items that are either too high or too low on the shelves.

This week our goals are for him to see better and for me to walk better. Those are not only our goals, but our prayer as well.

I have been blessed by so, so many people in Older Adult Ministry. There are people for whom the ministry was planned; there are those with whom I worked--people in local churches, people across the denomination. My life has been enriched by them all. The circumstances of older age might not be golden, but the wisdom gained, the rewards of friendship and family shine brighter than gold.

I am older, but I am definitely not a sissy.

I will claim Isaiah 40:29-31: He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

If I had a nickel . . .

Last week we were sitting in a doctor's examining room and for the umpteenth time one of us posed the question: how much money would we have if we had a nickel for every hour we've spent waiting in a doctor's office? We would have earned our nickel, and then some, on that day. In fact, that doctor always apologizes for keeping us waiting before he says hello. Friday we went to Corinth and waited some more, though it wasn't as bad as it could have been. The appointment clerk had originally scheduled us for 9 a.m. even with my telling her that we couldn't get there that early and why. I simply asked someone else if it could be changed; she does understand our situation and gladly changed it. If we had arrived by nine the wait would have been over two hours--and I would not have been happy. Today I had a check up with the primary care doctor to have blood tests and discuss my blood pressure. The wait for him was minimal, but this afternoon we visited the eye clinic for Tom to have pre-surgery tests done. They involved a wait! When he finally was seen and his blood pressure checked, it was found to be too low to have his cataract surgery next week. The tech got on the phone, checked with the primary care to see when Tom could be seen and was told we could come straight there. More waiting, but, after all, we weren't on the schedule. When the doctor came in, he laughed when he saw us back and said, "What have you done today beside sit in doctors' offices? You look exhausted." He did give the go ahead for the surgery. Too bad Tom and I can't share blood pressure!

My visit with the oncologist Friday did not change my treatment schedule. He continues to be concerned with my higher blood pressure and wants it down before resuming the Avastin. We are to get a monitor so I can track the pressure daily, let him know and hopefully, start the Avastin again. The good news is that the CA125 has dropped a few tenths of a point, after having increased little by little for the last several months. One doctor is concerned with the stroke possibility; another doesn't like my aenemic state; I want to keep attacking the cancer and live to the fullest in the meanwhile!

Finally the heat has broken some! We are actually promised some days this week down into the eighties and someone said they heard we had a fifties forecast for a night later in the week. Whew! The heat has been stiffling, but I'll have to say that the humidity isn't as bad as what we experienced in Mississippi all the years we lived there.

What I have written seems full of complaints: too much waiting; blood pressure issues for us both; issues with the chemo treatments; heat and humidity, but I don't mean them as complaints. On the way home this afternoon I couldn't help but chuckle thinking about the ups and downs of the day. It wasn't dull! We have wonderful doctors with caring, compassionate staffs. The blood pressure can be monitored and adjusted; the treatments keep me fatigued most of the time, but they also are keeping the cancer at arm's length. We are glad to be alive.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

The day after . . .

It is the day after Tom's birthday and we are still celebrating. He has been receiving cards all week--in fact he got one the first of the month--he has been hugged by grandchildren in town, talked to by one far away, and tonight we are going out to eat and go back to Tommy's for ice cream and cake with the grands. I made caramel cake, at his request, but the frosting isn't quite right. Maybe I got in too big a hurry. Anyway, we're up for a celebration!

Yesterday we drove to Blytheville, Arkansas so that I could attend a meeting of the Board of Directors of Westminster Village of the Mid-South. It was my first visit to the facility, though I have been aware of it since it was on the drawing board. There was a Strategic Air Command base located in the cotton fields surrounding Blytheville and it was closed when the government began downsizing the military and our defense systems. Presbyterians representing the local church, the Presbytery and the Synod teamed up with other interested folks, negotiated a lease with Uncle Sam and chartered the property for a retirement community, a school and conference center. Because the property cost was minimal and there were living quarters already present, they have been able to offer nice retirement homes at more affordable prices than some out there. I was invited several months ago to join the Board but had not been able to attend a meeting until yesterday. It was such a pleasure to see the continuing project and to hear an unsolicited testimony from a resident in the cafe. If anyone reading this blog is interested in knowing more, let me hear from you and I'll get information to you.

In order to get to Blytheville from here, there are two options: drive south to Memphis, cross the river, then go north to Blytheville--about 140 miles; drive northwest to Dyersburg, cross the river into Missouri, then go south to Blytheville--about 95 miles. We chose going through Missouri. "The river" of which I speak is the Mississippi, a body of water I have always loved and for which I have deep respect. Many years of my life were spent close to the Mississippi and I crossed the river at least once a week during those years. I never tired of watching it roll by; I loved seeing the tugboats pushing the barges; I was always aware of the dangers of the river, but also how it contributed to economy of the area. After all these years, yesterday I felt excitement rising to the surface as we approached the bridge and as I looked below and saw the Mighty Mississip'.

The other sight that thrills me is descending from higher ground into the Delta. As a young child I lived in the Mississippi Delta and traveled with my father when I could. He represented a wholesale drug company out of Memphis and his territory consisted of the little towns up and down Highway 61--that's Blues' land. Those were happy days for me. For a time I didn't know hills or mountains or rocky plains existed. I thought all land was like the Delta. Yesterday we drove through lots of cotton fields, soy beans and corn and the sight took me back. The machinery we passed is modern--no people chopping and sights of large contraptions that look like insects with giant arms reaching out to irrigate the fields. Times have changed; I've gotten older, but my love for the river and the Delta it has created only grows. God's creation is amazing. We've been privileged to see a lot of it.

Have a good weekend.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

This n' That

This past two weeks have gone by quickly and once again it's time for our bi-weekly trip to Corinth tomorrow. Since our last visit I have begun taking medicine to lower my blood pressure so will be interested to see if it's working. Still, I don't imagine a decision will be made on The Avastin until I see the oncologist in another two weeks.

Our friends John and Connie, transplanted from California to Iowa came to see us Saturday. John is quite a Civil War buff and visits battlesites whenever he can. I would even imagine that he has seen more of the Southern ones than I have. Anyway, we benefit from his hobby since we are close to or on the way to many sites in the South. Last week they drove to Vicksburg, MS to tour the battlefield there and then back to Memphis to visit with some of Connie's relatives. They spent Saturday with us and would have come back on Tuesday, but John was under the weather and they wanted to be considerate of my lowered immunity these days. We were disappointed, but glad we had Saturday.

Public schools opened here on Monday. It's too soon and too hot!!!! The summer vacation was barely two months and temperatures have been over 100 degrees for several days. Tuesday the heat index was 120. We have stayed inside as much as possible, going out only when necessary. Last night we did go to church, today to Bible study and to pick up Jacob from school. I asked to be excused from a Committee on Ministry meeting in Memphis because of the heat and the distance I would have to walk to get to the meeting room. (I never thought I'd hear or read that I'd said those words. I've always been the "Don't tell me I can't do something else I prove you wrong" kind of person.)

The other thing we did today was vote--the ballot was long and I only cast a vote in four races--hardly worth the effort to go. Some candidates have flooded the airways, lately with negative statements about each other. Many candidates were unfamiliar names, people who either didn't have the funds to campaign or thought it unnecessary. Our local newspaper has been absolutely NO help--maybe I'll write a letter to the editor. If we're going to live here, we need to vote, but we need to be able to vote intelligently.

At an early age I began reading historical novels, a real bonus to my education. My mother belonged to the Book of the Month Club and that genre was a favorite of hers. Believing that reading is one of life's greatest pasttimes and not having a TV until I was a senior in high school had me reading in much of my spare time and it is one of the things that I relish in retirement. I have recommended books of a Spiritual nature (and will again), but today I want to tell you about a recent read. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows is a story of the Channel island of Guernsey and how the people lived during the German occupation. It is written as a series of letters between one character and another, a style I have not previously encountered. At first I thought it might be too boring, too stiff, but after reading five or six letters, I was hooked. There really was a literary society on Guernsey that often served potato peel pie for refreshments. How the society formed, what it did for the people and how they survived, eating things like potato peel society, is all part of the book's charm.

The kitchen calls. Count your blessings--if you can stay awake that long.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret