Saturday, April 17, 2010

Too Tired to Type

That's the way I feel. I could tell this afternoon that Tom had a burst of energy because he kept thinking of errands we could run, even suggesting that we go to the grocery and Sam's in one afternoon. I couldn't envision doing even one of those, but finally mustered enough energy to go buy groceries. Usually he pushes the cart so he can balance himself, but today I needed somewhere to prop. Along with the usual chemo fatigue, this toothache is driving me nuts. I'm not really sure who has talked to whom, but the bottom line coming out of the oncology clinic and some unnamed oral surgeon is not to touch me at this time. I have to be off the Avastin for six weeks before a root canal or extraction, but could have a crown. The problem there is no one knows what is necessary until the drilling is done and then there is no turning back. And then, there is the knowledge that cancer treatment needs to be administered on a consistent schedule, which raises the question of how does being off the drug six weeeks will affect its effectivness? Who knew a trip to the dentist could cause such a problem? Heat and pain pills are prescribed for now. We're hoping we'll get some satisfactory solution this week.

We miss the sounds of little feet and little voices that filled our house last week. I know they were all glad to get home to familiar surroundings--beds, toys, pets. It doesn't take much to get used to them in the house!

There's good news and bad news for the Humboldt church. The good news is that the Committee on Ministry approved the call of a new pastor in the next couple of months. The congregation still has to vote and Presbytery has to approve COM's recommendation. We have treasured our year with them and friendships made will remain a part of our lives. The bad news is that one of the precious daughters of the church, elder, teacher, friend had surgery for ovarian cancer yesterday and the prognosis is not the most promising. Please pray for Susan and that God will use me and my experience to encourage and support her.

Tomorrow, nationally known Disciples of Christ pastor and Humboldt native, Fred Craddock will fill our pulpit. I have the privilege of assisting him. He was somewhat of a mentor to the minister with whom I did my internship so I was assigned lots of his articles and commentaries to read and consult. I can't wait to share worship with him.

Last week I watched my daughter with an amazing amount of energy and I wondered if I ever had that much. I wondered what it was like to bounce up and down off the floor like her two year old can. Did I ever do that? Lack of energy is one thing I hate the most about cancer and the treatment for it. Planning meals, going to the store and spending the day in the kitchen cooking for my family used to give me great pleasure. Now, I'd almost rather not eat than go through all the steps to get a meal ready. While Marty was here, Tommy pulled up carpet in their den and hallway, stripped the glue etc. and refinished the floors---and then put all the furniture back by himself. Before he was finished, he was extremely sore and pollen and dust from the floors got the best of him, but I felt bad that there was nothing I could do to help him. I never thought I'd succomb to old age or illness, but the time is near. In my head and in my heart I'm young, healthy and in charge; in reality I'm none of these. The years keep adding up; the health is not good, but better than we thought it would be, but a concern, nevertheless; and God is in charge which is best of all. That should be my focus!!

I need to say thanks to each of you once again for reading, for praying, for being our friends. Please don't stop.
Pastor Margaret

No comments: