Tuesday, August 19, 2008

It's a day for fussing, a day for wondering. Little things irritate. It's the fourth day after treatment and I'm still wondering what will happen next.

I remember well the side effects of Doxil when I had it six years ago, but it was administered along with two other drugs. Did three together make a difference? Does the current condition of my body make a difference? One of the most annoying side effects was sores in my mouth and throat. The good thing was I got to sip on milk shakes--with no guilt. The bad thing was it was really difficult to talk--bad for me, maybe good for others. This morning I awoke with a sore throat and a bump on the end of my tongue. Immediately I wondered if this is the beginning of a side effect. It's not fun to wonder.

Our helper didn't show up and hasn't called. A family with whom she has a long history pressed her into service last week and I heard in a round about way yesterday that the family has had another crisis. That I understand. What I don't understand is what's so hard about picking up the phone and letting someone know? We really depended on her coming today and have been wondering if it's time to increase the time she spends with us.

Tom is out of one of his meds and has gone almost 48 hours without it. We've been having "discussions" with the supplier and the insurance company concerning the prescription as written versus a generic. It's not productive to wonder how the insurance company can make better decisions than the neurologist. Wondering causes my dander and my blood pressure to rise. I spoke with the nurse yesterday and wonder why she hasn't called back. How long can Tom go without it?

We had wanted to make a quick trip to Mississippi this week so I could attend a luncheon honoring a long time friend who has retired. In years past we would have just packed a bag, jumped in the car and taken off. The operative word here is "past." How did we get old so soon? I wonder . . .

There are other things that cause even more of wonder: our wonderful years together; an abundance of friends; a loving, caring family; beautiful grandchildren. Life itself is a wonder! Why waste time wondering about the irritants? Focusing on the wonders of God's blessings is the only way.

Pastor Margaret

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