"Ovarian cancer is a chronic disease." Those were the words of the nurse when she showed me the elevevated CA125. I had never thought of it that way, so I pulled out my trusty dictionary and found a word in the definition for "chronic" that I didn't exactly like: "lingering." My cancer is lingering; it hangs around; it hides; now you see it; now you don't. Except, scans done on Wednesday are in the "now you see it" category.
We met with the oncologist yesterday and I honestly don't remember all he said. I was too anxious to get on with what we were going to do to fight it. I will receive a single chemotherapy drug once every four weeks. It is a drug I had the first go around and my doctor believes that my body responds well to this particular drug. I start Friday, the 16th.
Each member of my family has responded in the most supportive ways possible. How can they just keep on giving, giving and giving? One of my first responses when hearing the "c" word is regret that they have to endure one more time and I apologize. My children were 12 and 8 when they heard the word the first time 26 years ago. Through the years they have inspired and encouraged me. They are the best. I have mentioned before how Tom and I have laughed and said that we have gotten a lot of mileage out of the wedding vow that promises faithfulness "in sickness and in health." His own health problem limits what he can do these days, but it does not limit his love and care for me. Now our children have families of their own and they have become part of the circle of support.
In the center of that circle is one unchanging, all-knowing, powerful, compassionate God. When I think of the cancer "lingering," hiding out in unknown places I take great comfort in knowing that God is present. He doesn't linger. He IS! He sees into the hiding places. He knows how and where I need to be healed. We are trusting Him in this fight.
Today we move ahead with life. Sarah is coming today to help make Sunday dinner. We're making chicken tetrazzini, congealed salad and a chocolate trifle. I'm teaching Sunday school in the morning and have Presbytery next Tuesday. Our days are busy and our life is blessed. We continue to covet your prayers.