Tom and I traveled to Corinth yesterday for our visit with the oncologist. I honestly cannot categorize the news, but I can say that we were grateful for what we heard. The cancer has not progressed, but neither has it disappeared. For me the cancer news was overshadowed by the news that my lungs are irritated. The chemo has caused the problem and the lungs are the reason I have been so fatigued, have run the low grade fever, experience shortness of breath and have had a cough that I couldn't kick. Symptoms of the last four weeks have been similar to some I had prior to the admission to the hospital in September, 2006 for pneumonia so I wasn't terribly surprised to hear about lung problems. I am currently being treated for the symptoms, resting and waiting to see what happens with the cancer. I will see the doctor monthly and have blood work done to help him with his assessment. A newer drug he has wanted to try, but couldn't because of insurance restrictions is now avaiable to me so it's possible I'll change drugs again. For now, it's get the lungs well and rest.

Yes, I wanted to hear those special words, "You are cancer free," but was not devastated that I didn't. My trust in God is not one bit less and I'm still praying expectantly. It was good to have an explanation for my problems of the last several weeks and even better to have something to treat the symptoms. I actually slept all night last night without coughing. That was a bonus!!

I haven't updated you on Tom lately, mainly because I haven't felt a lot like writing, but also because his medications have more or less stabilized his condition. He has given his all in taking care of me and I know there have been days when he didn't have much more energy than I did. He is the world's best husband. His not being able to drive is a real handicap, but we have learned to manage. He is really making the effort to get ready and go to Sunday School with me. Our worship service is at 10 a.m., followed by SS, so neither of us has tried to make that. With my teaching responsibilities, I can't afford to get too tired going to church and then not be able to stay for SS. I'm hoping that soon we'll get back in our Sunday routine. Now, if I could just get some weight on him, things would really be looking up!!

Again, we thank you for your prayers, your cards and letters, phone calls and e-mails. We are truly blessed to have your names in our address book and the memories of you in our hearts.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

Hair is a funny thing and people are even funnier! After eight months of chemo, the hair that I was told might thin, has decided it doesn't like my head anymore. Hair on my arms, hands and legs has been gone for months, but as told, it only thinned on my head--until about two or so weeks ago when it started showing up everywhere except my head. Why? I have no idea! I went this morning for a trim and asked my stylist to cut it really short so I wouldn't be bothered with it coming out and so that my wigs would fit better. Instead, she cut it close in the back and sort of spiked it on top. It is so not me! But, so what? It's hair, it's mine and it's still here today.

The funny thing is that I have always complained about my hair genes. My father looked like a black bear without his shirt, though he was folically challenged on his head. I inherited his hair genes and have hated having hair on my fingers and toes. We all have hair we want and hair we don't want. Most of my life the hair on my head has been the crowning glory about which the Scripture speaks--thick, easy to manage and it grayed well. Not so today. Each time I've lost it, it has come back a different texture and a little whiter. I realized one day that the hair genes I've always hated are the same genes that have kept hair on my head at times when other chemo patients were losing theirs. People are funny--wanting what we do not have or hating that which we do. Well, I am not my hair and just as I've had fun with the reddish wigs, I'll have fun with this "in" hairdo. Maybe we'll take a picture so you can see.

Tom and I drove to Memphis for my scans yesterday. There is a large furniture store in a small town south of here and the owner, in the twangiest accent you can imagine, advertises on TV that shopping at his store is "worth the drive." (You have to hear him to fully appreciate.) Well, when I finished the process yesterday, I walked out to the waiting room and told Tom that it was definitely worth the drive. It was a far cry from the December experience when the vein blew and my arm blistered. We had high hopes of doing a little shopping in a "real city," but after meeting my cousin for lunch we were exhausted and just came home. We go to Corinth Friday to get the results and learn what my next step will be.

I am grateful for the excellent medical care I have received, both in Sacramento and here and I trust my doctor explicitly. We keep in mind the prognosis we got in 2006 and we know the facts, but we also remember when the prognosis was pronoucned that my doctor said, "But, I believe in miracles." For him, those could have been words spoken to comfort and reassure us, but they are not merely words. God is a God of miracles. God can and does heal when it is unexpected. We trust God for that healing power and His unfailing faithfulness. Please join us as we pray for clean scans on Friday. I am reminded of a favorite gospel song, "He Giveth More Grace," and know that God's grace is sufficient for any situation.

Blessings,
Pastor Margaret

The run has come to an end. We have just witnessed our MSU Bulldogs fall to a bigger, more aggressive, more rested Washington basketball team. It's always disappointing to lose, but win or lose, we support the Dawgs. I remember the Bob Boyd days when we had little or nothing and the whole game was about ball control--it was a slow, dull game. Since those days the rules have changed and things move a bit more quickly. We'll now pull for LSU and Memphis--maybe North Carolina if they beat LSU. And as the saying goes among MSU fans, "Wait til next year."

I have reversed my progress back around the corner I turned on Sunday. If anything, I have had a little more energy, but when walking across the floor makes my heart pound and makes me struggle for breath, we know I'm not up to par. One thing that concerns us both is that I continue to run a low grade fever, but it is supposed to reach 100.5 before you contact the doctor. Since I, like so many, consistently have a 97.2 - 97.5 normal temperature, I know that anything over 98.6 is fever for me. That, in itself, makes you tired, but I haven't called anyone. My appetite is practically nonexistent, consequently I'm shedding a few pounds. That's a good thing! Tom has been concerned about our going to Memphis on Friday for the scans since I do all the driving. Tommy has a marriage counseling appointment out of town and isn't available to help us. This afternoon when the clinic called to remind me I told them I wasn't feeling too chipper and they said they would reschedule me for next week, but still in time for the doctor to see the scans before he sees me. Praise God! Now I have four more days to regain some strength. It has been a long three weeks.

I am in the midst of teaching a four part series on Keys to Living based on I Peter, the lectio devina spiritual discipline and Richard Foster's newest book, Life with God, Reading the Bible for Spiritual Transformation. If you are not familiar with Foster or this book, I would encourage you to look into it, follow its simple suggestions for reading God's Word and your life will be blessed. It's $25 well spent! Our first "key" last Sunday is to realize that we are chosen by God. The assignment for the week was to consider a current circumstance and meditate on how being chosen by God affects that circumstance. In our household, such a "key" gives us the assurance and encouragement to live one day at a time knowing that God is in charge.

Blessings,

Pastor Margaret

When I awoke this morning I felt like I'd turned a corner. My first thought? It's about time! I had a little more energy and didn't have to rest as long after my shower. My hands and feet are about the same and my toes are not as sensitive to touch. Besides the fatigue my main complaint continues to be a sore place in my mouth, but it could be worse: the sores could be on both sides rather than just one. I am actually looking forward to the drive to Memphis on Friday to have scans done. We'll make an adventure of it.

Our Mississippi State Bulldogs won the SEC conference tournanment today and we were right here in front of the TV cheering them on. The win assures us a place in the NCAA tournament, meaning that our personal interest in the tournament isn't over yet! Almost everything in Tennessee is ORANGE and the sounds of "Rocky Top" being sung fills the air. The lone exception is the large contingency of Memphis fans who have been cheering on a better than average basketball team for as long as I can remember. As Mississippi State fans, we are definitely in the minority! Go Dawgs!!

Blessings,

Pastor Margaret

There are certain advantages to being parents of adult children and in watching them raise their children. In fact, there are far too many to itemize. I love to hear our children talk about their childhoods, the things they did--some I remember, some I don't; some I'm learning for the first time. Today, some things don't seem like such a big deal and I can actually laugh at them aloud. Some of those things demanded a straight face in years past. It's fun to laugh and talk about things together. Yesterday several folks came into Sunday School laughing about some experiences Tommy shared in his children's sermon. They wanted to know if he really did those things (like painting the carport floor and giving the dog chewing gum which she spit out and got all imbedded in an Oriental area rug) and I said "Yes, and I'm sure there are more experiences I have yet to learn." It's all a part of growing up--laughable now; a bit more serious then.

We can also watch the grandchildren with a somewhat more relaxed attitude. I chuckled as Drew told me the unofficial stats of how many grapes in a row he, Sarah and Jacob could toss into the air and catch with their mouths before missing. Then he said, "You should see Jacob do a pop tart." I don't think his mom thought it was as funny as I did. Grandparents can laugh at things that parents often have to take more seriously. Often, when Marty and I are on the phone together, she will correct Christopher with a stern, "No sir. We don't do that." All the while I'm smiling and wondering what that sweet, innocent little boy could possibly be doing to warrant such a stern voice.

And, you know, I'm more grown up myself. I know that there is nothing more important than being available to a grandchild. Reading to Mer takes precedence over the evening news. Everything gets put aside when Elisa makes a bee-line toward you and grabs you around the legs. "I love you" takes on a whole new meaning when it comes from the mouth of a grandchild. As a grandparent I have the advantage of either having more time or taking more time when a child calls my name; as a grandparent I'm more tolerant and a lot more patient. I have stories to share and lessons to learn from each one of them.

Liz shared a Drew story with us yesterday. It seems that he and Jacob were having a brotherly squabble Saturday morning. Jacob was mad because he thought Drew got him in trouble and Drew was mad because Jacob was mad. (You know the vicious circle.) Jacob was planning to spend the night with a friend and had his bag out on the bed getting it ready. When he wasn't looking Drew saw his chance to get back at him. He took a pink teddy bear/blanket toy and hid it in Jake's bag under the top layer of clothes. I suspect Drew got the last laugh when the bear was discovered in the bag. I don't know I would have thought of doing something like that when I was six years old.

On a serious note, yesterday in Sunday School the teacher asked what would happen if you didn't obey God's commandments. Drew put his hand in the air to answer. He said, "If you don't do what God tells you to, you'll go straight to hell." I promise we do not preach hellfire and damnation to our Sunday School children, but his answer did make me think. My first thought was this great verse in Romans: The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Do we not more fully comprehend "grace" when we also understand that there are consequences for sin? Drew's answer says to me that he is learning that there is a difference between right and wrong and that God expects obedience from His children. It says to me that Drew understands that truly God hates sin. Right now he knows the first part of the Romans verse; in due time he'll embrace the gift of God and understand "grace." I had the great advantage of baptizing Drew and now have the advantage of watching him grow as a child of the covenant.

Blessings,

Pastor Margaret

ZAAP! BOI-I-I-NG! HELP! My body met me Monday morning with protests. The chemo treatment on Friday really zapped me. I have felt like one of those weak, nerdy comic book characters who are at the mercy of the big, mean, powerful super bad guys. When Tom told me I needed to stay in bed, I didn't object and have been there all week, running temperature and having absolutely no energy. I told Tommy this afternoon that I knew I was better because I could think about what I would be doing if I were up and until today, I haven't had the energy to think. Enough whining! Tommy and Liz have kept us fed and fed well. Last night we had grilled catfish and tonight Liz brought green peppers stuffed with shrimp, rice and cheese. I told them it would be easy to be spoiled by such good food. I haven't felt like eating much, but it's been good to see Tom eat and enjoy things.

The snow we had over the weekend finally topped at 13 inches. Unbelievable! Jackson had not had that much snow in forty years. Most of it has gone, but it hung around long enough for the children to have fun in it. I asked Sarah and Drew one day when they walked around here if they had made snowballs, snowmen or snow angels. Yes, to snowballs and snowmen, but they said it was too deep for snow angels. They would lie down on it, sink and not be able to move their arms and legs. Marty sent pictures of Christopher playing in their front yard and he looked like he was having a great time. Now, we're in a steady warming trend and I hope when I do feel like getting outside that the signs of Spring will have reappeared.

We covet your prayers for energy and, as always, for healing. We also ask for prayers for our friend Henry who has had two back surgeries in the past week. God is merciful, gracious, full of compassion and oh so faithful (Lamentations 3:22,23)!

Blessings,

Pastor Margaret