Monday, April 18, 2011

Broken Silence . . . Please forgive the cluttered look of the last two blogs. I space between paragraphs, but when I post, the words are all run together. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong!!! Some things are moving forward. Others are not. There seems to be something new to do every day concerning the buying and selling of two properties. Later this evening I have to complete paperwork for the mortgage folks and I'm sort of clueless! I met with a realtor who will be listing my present residence over the weekend. He was such a help and was encouraging. Now I must find someone to do some yard work to improve the curb appeal, get in touch with a handy man to do some miscellaneous chores, find one room where we can store boxes that are packed, conduct a yard sale and put the house on the market. Income taxes were prepared, but there is some strange problem with Tom's SSN. So, instead of being able to e-file, they had to be sent to me to mail manually--most inconveniet for all involved. Hopefully, my dear friend and CPA way out there in California will be able to get to the bottom of things for me. Both Liz and I are packing boxes and Tommy is working on his office at the church. The days are not long enough. I'd be way behind if I didn't have Delora to help me. She has been such a Godsend for us! She and Tom had a special relationship; they loved each other; he trusted her and I trusted her to care for him. I wonder what I will do without her. She is not only my helper, but my friend. The recent storms in my hometown area of Jackson, MS and in Raleigh where Marty and her family live have been frightening. Today's forecast is for another severe breakout tomorrow night and early Wednesday morning. When the thunder awakened me Friday morning and the sirens began about an hour later, I wasn't sure if I should get in the inside bathroom or stay in the bed an pray. Without Tom, I was more frightened--yet one more thing for which I relied on him to tell me what to do next. Last Monday I visited a podiatrist to get answers about a big toe and to seek relief. Right away, he said I had a staff infection and that the nail was digging into the toe--a direct result of a chemo drug I haven't been on in two years. Long story short, he removed a sliver of the nail and the difference in that toe has been remarkable. I went this morning for a follow up and was happy to hear that unless I had any unexpected problems I didn't have to return. Bad news is that healing will take five or six more weeks. Considering how long it has hurt and how long I have limped on it, I don't mind the length of time it will take to heal. Yesterday I worshiped in Humboldt and stayed for the luncheon that followed. It was the first I had been there since Tom and I visited the week before Christmas and I dreaded go in without him. He and I love the people so much and he thought of the church as "his" place of worship. Miss Tennessee offered special music as did one of the young girls of the church and all were moved to tears. The service closed with the most beautiful vocal arrangement of "How Great Thou Art" that I have ever heard. As I listened and reflected on words of praise from Revelation that the pastor read, my tears flowed freely. I can only imagine what it will be like to be in God's presence, but Tom is experiencing that now. I felt really selfish wanting him to be here with me when he's living where he is. Grief and sorrow deepen more with every passing day, yet I still thank God for the days we did have and for the gift of such a special love in my life. My friend Linda, who is Liz's mom replied to an e-mail I sent her with saying: "We have an awesome God who always goes before us." That is my belief, but it's always good to be reminded. "He goes before us in triumphant procession." In this week of profound sorrow that leads to a profound expression of grace and unconditional love. join Christians everywhere as we proclaim: Jesus Christ is Lord. Blessings, Pastor Margaret

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