As usual . . .
. . . the days have slipped away. The two weeks surrounding infusions are "down" days, not necessarily because I feel bad, but the body and brain don't function at full capacity. The two weeks off are filled with as much energy and activity as I can muster. When days are "down," I spend a lot of time thinking about what I will do when I'm "up." Crazy, isn't it?
Summer is in full bloom. We've had fresh vegetables from Paw Paw's Garden Market: corn, snap beans, cucumbers, squash and finally tomatoes. The children have had Vacation Bible School, been to the lake for a couple of days to see Mimi and Pop, Drew has been to baseball camp, Sarah, in addition to her week of mallet camp, and Jacob are going to band practice once a week and in between they spend lots of time in the pool. This weekend Sarah, Jacob and their dad go to Puerto Rico a mission trip. I love the tastes and sounds of summer. Grandchildren in Raleigh are pretty much doing the same things--just too far away for me.
Meredith and Elisa spent the night Friday night. We had been talking about it for days--where they would sleep, what we'd do, what I'd fix for breakfast. Bags were packed early in the day and brought over with pillows and blankets right after lunch. Sleeping arrangements didn't quite work out the way they planned; both ended up with me in my bed. It was a little crowded, but worth every minute. I was reminded of all the nights Marty went to spend the night with my mother and their making muffins for breakfast. Marty always seemed excited to go and now I know, her excitement didn't even touch what my mother felt!
In my younger, more foolish years I was not shy about expressing my opinion. As I've aged, I have become less vocal, probably just as opinionated, but quieter, and more tolerant of others. I don't have to be right; I don't have to win every contest. However, I want to go on record right now and let it be known that I am not now, nor have I ever been a liberal Democrat! I have no liberal persuasions, theologically or politically. I have family and good friends who don't share my conservative beliefs, but, so far as I know, they don't condemn me, nor do I condemn them. For the most part, my opinion on the Republican Primary this summer has not been shared except with family and a few close friends, though many things have angered me. Last night was the final straw. Enough said!
The last time I was in the infusion room there were several patients around me who were anticipating their final treatment. Lots of you know the relief and excitement that brings. One lady who was just getting started, asked how many more treatments I had left. I fumbled as I tried to think of a positive, encouraging way to tell her that treatment for me is indefinite. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I do remember the look that seemed to indicate, "I'm sorry I asked." Still trying to be encouraging, I told her that my cancer history was long, huge advances had been made in treatment and that the fact that I was standing there talking to her made indefinite treatments worthwhile. Since then, I have had a change in vocabulary. From now on, I will define my regimen as "maintenance," not indefinite treatments. Sometimes, a word makes a difference.
Til the next time . . .